Can Men and Women “Just Be Friends”? – INTERNET DATING
Why men and women can’t be “just friends”:
It is IMPOSSIBLE. Watch the movie below and then ask yourself the question again.
Andrea- “If one person is attracted to the other there will eventually be tension. That person will either secretly obsess or feel that they are biding-their-time, stalk, sabotage real dates or otherwise be a pill. If you are both totally unattractive then it might work but rarely does.”
Brad- “This is a myth they teach you in college where everybody is getting more sex than they can stand so you have to say that the ones you are not sleeping with (because every night is already booked) are “friends” but actually they are just on stand-by. When you get out of college that whole friends thing goes back to hunter/gatherer.”
Don’t be naive. Don’t create rationalizations. Learn the absolute truth, below:
Have you seen “When Harry met Sally?”
While it may “feel nice to think this isn’t true, the plain truth is: IT IS TRUE!
Platonic Friendships: Men & Women Can’t Be ‘Just Friends
By Adrian F. Ward
(C) Huffington Post. All Rights Reserved.
Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”? Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Still, the question remains unanswered. Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together. However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.
New research suggests that there may be some truth to this possibility—that we may think we’re capable of being “just friends” with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for “romance” is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment.
In order to investigate the viability of truly platonic opposite-sex friendships—a topic that has been explored more on the silver screen than in the science lab—researchers brought 88 pairs of undergraduate opposite-sex friends into…a science lab. Privacy was paramount—for example, imagine the fallout if two friends learned that one—and only one—had unspoken romantic feelings for
the other throughout their relationship. In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility. These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study.
The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had
virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally
were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.
Men were also more willing to act on this mistakenly perceived mutual attraction. Both men and women were equally attracted to romantically involved opposite-sex friends and those who were single; “hot” friends were hot and “not” friends were not, regardless of their relationship status. However, men and women differed in the extent to which they saw attached friends as potential
romantic partners. Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else.
6 Signs Your Guy Friend Wants to Get Into Your Pants
LEGAL NOTE: If you are not at least 18-years old, please do not read what follows click the Red “X” now! Thank you in advance.
We are about to figuratively blow the lid off of a topic some women have wondered about for years. You may have some sneaking suspicions about one or more of your guy friends. You think he may just want to get to know you a little better, if you know what I mean, but you’re not positive. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard from women “I am so bad at this dating stuff, I never know
when a guy likes me!.” Well, wonder no more, because the answers are mere seconds away. Let’s cut this introduction short and jump right in:
I don’t know who is friend-zoning who here, but stuff is going down.
1. You’ve Been Friends For a Long Time
By the way, “long time” is defined as more than a couple of months. I know I am breaking Guy Code here, but what I am about to say is the truth. If you’re “friends” with a guy, especially for some amount of time, he has thought about the possibility of you and him, well, you know. We can’t help feeling this way, it’s just how it is. We’re the victims of our feelings, really. This doesn’t necessarily mean we would act on any feelings, but know that the feelings exist.
2. The “What Would He Do If…” Test
I can’t remember where I got this from, but man, is it ever the truth. Imagine yourself entering his bedroom with few or no clothes, looking him right in the eye and saying “take me.” If, in your fantasy, he would oblige, then he wants you. If he would say something else, then he has no feelings for you. Most women, when they think about it, will probably be surprised with the conclusions
they come to.
3. He’s Jealous
This is a bit of a sneaky trick, but man, is it effective. Casually mention a guy you think might be a good fit for you and see how he reacts. If he seems to have a strong visceral reaction against the aforementioned gentleman, he probably is into you. To be sure, mention another guy or two in the next week and see what he does. What you’re looking for is a trend. If he shoots down every potential suitor, he is more than interested.*
4. Sex Has Come Up
This is another dead giveaway. If you guys have casually spoken about sex, then there is a very good chance he would like to be more than a friend to you. The deeper the conversation gets, the more likely it is he wants you. Guys generally aren’t comfortable talking about deep sexual stuff with just any woman. It has to be the right woman. If this is happening, then the “right” woman is you!**
5. He Has Complimented You
I don’t mean he’s complimented your intelligence or personality, I mean either a body part or something you’ve worn. If he says the skirt you’re wearing looks nice, it means he is really paying attention. Why? Because he’s into you. If he says you have great legs or are generally sexy, then it’s a good bet he has thought about you sexually. Trust me on this one.
This might be the strongest indicator, but also the one that goes unnoticed most often. If he is flirting with you in any way, then he is probably into you. What I mean is, does he tickle you or crack jokes that he wouldn’t crack around other people? Maybe you guys are very touchy-feely when you’re together. If you notice any kind of flirting on his end, that is a strong indicator that there is a purpose behind it.
Man, do I feel bad about myself after this post. I feel like I have given light to a few things that perhaps were better off left in darkness. I can feel myself being excommunicated from the male community as we speak. I hope it was worth it!
* Some of you may be wondering, “well, couldn’t he pretend he doesn’t care when he’s actually dying on the inside?” It’s possible, no doubt, but come on, how many guys know how to scheme and deceive that well? Not many.
** Yes, for those of you who read the Cuddle Buddies post last week, you now see why it’s so hard to keep those things platonic. Guys don’t spill their guts to anyone, they usually reserve that stuff for someone special.