OVALS ARE FOR “ASSHOLES”: THE MADNESS OF “LOOK-AT-ME” RICH CARS

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OVALS ARE FOR “ASSHOLES”: THE MADNESS OF “LOOK-AT-ME” RICH CARS

 

 

 

There is no other purpose, on Earth, to drive a hundred thousand dollar car, unless you are worried that your penis is too small and that the world does not appreciate you for manipulating the stock market.

 

 

You are, what the rest of that Earth calls: “an asshole”.

 

 

You are misogynistic and abusive to women. You only like them as trophy wives and hired escorts. You think you are superior to everyone and immune from the law. You are only concerned about wealth, and control, and your greatest fear is that the other boys, in your club, will say that your wienie is smaller than theirs. This is why you are an asshole.

 

 

The entire TV series, called “Silicon Valley” is dedicated to you.

 

 

Under “business expenses”, on your tax form, you put “campaign bribes”.

 

 

You feel aloof and you have no cares about anything except yourself. You dream of talking about yourself on the stage of a self-aggrandizing TED talk. You worship federal tax subsidies for your company. You pray to the gods of AngelGate and the mighty commissioners of the NVCA that you will go another year without your bankers getting indicted. You are, truly, an asshole.

 

 

You pretend to like women, but is is all for show. What you really like is the gaping asshole oval on the front end of rich guy cars. No other car has, or needs an oval hole. Only you need this.

 

 

Ovals on the front of cars do not make them go faster, they do not cool them off better, they offer worse aerodynamics.

 

 

Ovals on the front of cars are there to accomplish only one purpose. They are their to warn the everyone, as you drive towards them, that an asshole is coming.

 

 

When the public sees the big black oval, on the front of one of your asshole cars, coming towards them, they think: “Oh My God, look, it’s another asshole, coming right down the road towards us.”

 

 

You think people are looking at you and thinking “my god I want that car, that man must be so lucky”.. WRONG. They are thinking you are an ASSHOLE.

 

 

We, the rest of the world, thought we should mention it. You may be laboring under a mis-perception about reality.

 

 

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p style=”margin-bottom:0;line-height:100%;”>No, really; don’t thank us. It was the least we could do. Now go buy a Chrysler!

 

 

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